I have begun wondering about a lot of things lately… things that don’t seem in line with what Scripture teaches but sure fits our cultural views of life and how it should look. I just wanted to take a step back and look at some of the unspoken views of marriage, family and education. There’s some trends here that I’m noticing that bother me and they are as follows:
Lots of parents in the Church have been encouraging their kids to “get an education, get a job, and then get married. Later when you’re stable, have kids… if you want them.”
-Why must they have everything figured out. Sure it’s easier but if you’re always waiting for the perfect timing then who are you really depending on?
There are tons of unmarried people in their 20s and 30s in the Church. They are waiting for God to show them “the right” one and are not interested in looking around lest they get accused of “dating” or getting “ahead of God’s timing.”
-Where in Scripture is courtship “God’s way” and dating “the world’s way?”
There are young couples who would like to get married but we keep telling them to wait. Wait till they graduate. Wait till they can afford a house. Wait till they both have steady jobs.
-Our grandparents often “grew up” together. They could barely afford to eat, but look what kind of a marriage they had.
There is a mind set within the Church that 2-3 kids is the socially acceptable number. If you want more then you must adopt. If you have more then you must be one of those extreme homeschool families, like the Duggars.
-It’s unspoken, but just try telling people you want a large family. Lastly what on earth is wrong with the Duggars and considering what a great family they have why shouldn’t more people want to look like them?
There’s also a mind set that women aren’t meeting their full potential unless they have both children and a ministry.
-the acceptable ministries are: nursery care, childcare, children’s church, kitchen staff, pastor’s wife… you get my drift. They can’t possibly be content being a true stay at home mom, and they can’t serve very well in anything but the ministries affecting children since they have, well children. So your options are laid out and fixed for you.
There’s this idea that when a young couple gets married they must wait roughly two years before getting pregnant with their first child. Otherwise it is assumed that they did not know how to properly use birth control.
-Whatever happened to “arrows in the hands of a WARRIOR?”
There’s another idea that although we love our children, when a young couple gets married that we must quickly inoculate them to the idea of using up that precious time of “just the two of you.” We must convince them that they must wait till the “time is right.” And if that argument fails then we must offer to let them watch our children since that will “cure the baby bug.”
-I thought that children were a blessing on your marriage. Second why would we want to keep a strong, loving married couple from having kids?
Just some things that are bothering me lately and I needed to get them out where I can see them.
